Of Religion & God

"In reality, many people let go of religion at a later part of life – Penn Jillette”

I couldn’t help but agree with that statement…

I was born in a religious family where religion shaped our beliefs, culture and lifestyle. I spent my childhood devoting time to religious activities. No, I was not forced into it…

I wholeheartedly participated in religious classes, read Holy scriptures and grew up along friends who shared similar beliefs. At the same time, I also had friends of different religions and we respected the differences we had.

God played an important factor in my childhood, teenage hood and even later on.  It helped me in many ways where there was a support system that I could rely on, gave me hope and faith when I needed it, formed and built my character. Would I have been different without religion? Perhaps yes or maybe not…

As I matured, I started questioning many practices that made little sense to me. My folks never stopped me from questioning what was on my mind and hence, I had the liberty to follow what made sense while forgoing those that I found absurd.

However, as an entirety, my family was of a very religious one. Thus, I often did not bring up any sort of disputes in order to avoid confrontations with other family members. That’s the beauty of mutual respect.

Temples, altar at home, religious events and ceremonies – they were all part of my upbringing.

Even as I moved away from home, I brought along whatever I could to still be close to a religious system I was so attached with.

Then there came a day where my life took a turn, for the better or worse. At that point, I was in between holding on to God for answers and also blaming Him for everything. This went on for sometime. Resentment, anger, love – it was a mixture of emotions of a religion I held on to for so long…

One day, as I sat and thought, I was holding on, relying and hating something I was not sure of. Instead of relying on myself, blaming my own deeds, or trusting myself, I was instead turning to something that might or might not have been true…

Why blame or hold on to something that you are not sure of?

Why not believe in myself, take responsibility for my deeds and be accountable for whatever decisions I take in life?

That’s the day I decided to let go of religion, God and a belief system I had lived with all along.

The first person I went to was my Mom. I told her I was removing my religious beads which I had worn all my life, as I no longer believed in God. She was devastated and asked me not to stop believing though she did not force me to do something I did not like. We decided to let time take its course and she respected my decision as how I respected theirs…

As for the rest of my family members and some close friends, well they might never come to accept my reasoning though I am no longer afraid to stand alone.

I don’t deny the possibility it exists though I also don’t deny the chances of it all being a myth. Perhaps, one day I might believe in God again or maybe I will die refuting His existence.

For now, I no longer believe in God, religion, sins, boons, and whatnot… Neither you nor I know the truth…I’ll stick to believing in myself, my decisions and whatever I choose to go with. Religion would not be a part of my decisions and I will not blame it either when something goes wrong. Instead, I’ll take pride when life turns out well and be accountable if it turns out otherwise…Whatever good I choose to do, it is not because God asked me to do it, but it is out of humanity. Any bad deeds I commit, it is also of my choice and nothing tied to a religion.